Review: Xbox 360 by Elmojesus

I know everyone has already seen this on the bigger sites, but I wanted to share the brilliant and no-holds-barred writing style of Gamespot forumer, Elmojesus, as he carefully critiques a test version of the Xbox 360.

my step dad works here in seattle for xbox hes the forgein tester guy. He had a trip to mexico to test the new xbox so he had to bring it home and he let me play it. There arnt any xbox360 games yet i guess so all i got to play was halo 2. but all the test stuff was on there like dolphin and light shadow stuff, Oh and the XBOX dashboard . I uesto hATE xbox purley a PS fan. but WOW new xbox has some COol stuff. First i tried dolphin witch doesnt have liek GOOD grapics or anything its just a frame test and the xbox was geting 3000+ frames witch was pretty stuinning for me. and the Xbox dashboard is amazing im not aloud to tell everything about it but WOW theres soo much crap on the xbox and some of it is sooO miscelanius. theres xbox arcade were u can Dl like arcade games and crap and u can stream music from ur PC to ur xbox and tons and tons and tons of other crap. I just thought id post about it, ps3 is definatly guna have some compitition. IM SURE all of u have probably read stuff like this on sites but OH one more thing im not supposed tell this, but the power supply conecter thing for the xbox, lets just say its not COMPACT, witch might be why u havnt seen it in any pics. thats all for now post some feedback

In case you ever wanted to know what people that write like this look like, here you go:

Heh heh heh. Now, that’s the kind of face you want to punch. Then, hold down and shave that stupid mop of a haircut. And I’m not just saying this because he’s playing an Xbox 360 and I’m not.

Now, remember, this hard-hitting review is from someone who refers to himself as “purley a PS fan”. When forumers at Gamespot eloquently requested “MOR XBOX2 PIX 4 US PLZPLZPLZ!!!!!111″ Elmojesus coolly responded with the following:

sorry.. i only had it for 1 night about a week ago. i didnt take any more pics just a few. i dont rember to much about the dashboard al i really rember is the streaming music from u computer thing. and in live i think there was thing for freinds and stuff and u can create ur own profile i think. and then in arcade there were soem cheesy arcade games, i wasnt aloud to copy anything to the HD, but in my pik its the thing on the top and its detactchable, thers also a tab called system in xbox dashboard with a hole bunch of system settings, i cant rember what they were they wernt liek grpahics settings or anything though. uhhh i rember it got 3000+ frames on dolphin witch was pretty cool. OH OH OH and thers a loading screen, and theres Xbox.defualt or seomthing like that cus its compatible with old xbox games (obviusly) but its like a system in a system u load it from the xbox xcreen and then instead of the xbox 360 logo poping up it liek goes blak and changes to the old xbox logo. and maybe it was just hopefull wishing but the grpahics in halo 2 SEEMED better to me, idk if they actually were cus maybe i was imagining things, but to me they looked better(not extremly) better geomatry, more smooth, stuff like that

The internet truly is an entertaining place. Microsoft’s best efforts at keeping a lid on their next-gen console thwarted by someone who can’t even spell the color “black”.

Let’s see what Kutaragi has to say about this:

Microsoft is still not a black belt.

Well, at least Kutaragi’s universal translator can spell black correctly.