Uwe Boll: Why? WHY?

I need someone to explain to me one of life’s mysteries. How does this guy keep getting jobs in the movie industry? I averaged the IMDB ratings of the 8 movies that Uwe Boll has both produced and directed.

4.025

That’s somewhere between awful and crappy. I would also like to state that 48 out of 150 people gave Heart of America a 10. These people were probably the same ones that thought Michael Moore’s Bowling for Columbine was 100% factual. I also noticed that all 3 of the user comments gave it more than 8 out of 10… and surprisingly were not from America. Sorry, if you’re going to grade a movie called “Heart of America” about high school kids, you know, that live in America, I’m not going to take your opinion seriously unless you live IN America. This pretty much solidifies my opinion that people in Europe should NOT be trusted to give opinions on movies.

Which I think is why Uwe Boll isn’t working at McDonald’s or Burger King by now. His movies seem to be well-liked by Europeans. Well, fine. You guys can have him back. Please. Take him back!

If you want a good primer on Uwe Boll, I suggest reading this article written by a potential scriptwriter for Alone in the Dark. Then, read this interview that IGN did with Uwe Boll. It is awesomely powerful in its hilarity. And make sure to read them in that order.

My favorite part of the interview:

IGN FILMFORCE: Hey Uwe.

UWE BOLL: I’m driving to Wilshire Boulevard to go to an agency. I wanted to go to the press screening, but Lions Gate said, ‘Press don’t want to talk to the director.’ It was funny. I’ve never heard this before. They said the director always tries to sell [and] press don’t want thisÂ… So I accepted it.

IGNFF: So you were planning to come to the screening last night?

BOLL: (Laughs) I was not allowed to come.

Excuse me for a minute…

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!111

Oh wow! The movie studio actually requested that the director NOT SHOW UP to the press screening of the movie! *SNICKER*

BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh man… comedy gold.