Trek fans lose my respect

In follow-up to yesterday’s comments, I’ve decided to go on and on about something stupid that happened last week.

From a SciFi WIRE news article:

Fans of UPN’s soon-to-be-canceled Star Trek: Enterprise took to the streets in Los Angeles, New York and other cities on Feb. 25 to urge Paramount to give the show a fifth season. About 300 people marched at the entrance of Paramount Studios in Hollywood, Calif., to protest UPN’s decision to cancel the low-rated show at the end of the current fourth season.

What the crap is this? Pah-the-tic. I like Star Trek. I would even consider myself a trekkie… er… whatever. But these kind of shenanigans are what make me want to crawl under a proverbial rock. Fat girls dressed up as Klingon brides don’t bother me. The William Shatner look-alikes don’t bother me.

McCallie said that the protests and fund-raising are the fans’ attempts to get Paramount “to wake up and fund the fifth season themselves.”

That kind of crap bothers me. If you are protesting the cancellation, you are NOT working in the best interests of Trek fans. BECAUSE ENTERPRISE SUCKS EGGS THROUGH A STRAW! The more Enterprise that is broadcast only hurts the Trek franchise. That’s right. Enterprise denigrates the Trek goodness that was TOS, TNG, and DS9. Voyager? Meh. Voyager is only notable in that the decline of Trek really began happening during Voyager.

The Fall of Trek can pretty much be summed up in three words. SEVEN OF NINE. Trek fell when the powers that be (whether Berman or Paramount suits) decided that big breasts and catsuits would do more to increase ratings than ingenious story-telling or non-cliche character development. After all, that’s what made TOS so great, right? Kirk schmoozing scantily clad women? Hmmmmm… no. Don’t get me wrong, Kirk is the man. I mean, when Kirk beams down, he’s gonna be kickin’ @$% and chewing bubble gum. (I digress… my trekkie-ness cannot be contained.)

No no no, it wasn’t short skirts that made Trek great. It was writing. Back in the day you had Harlan Ellison and Theodore Sturgeon writing for Trek. I know, I know, those authors complained about their story ideas getting changed around from what they originally wanted, but guess what, I’d rather have an edited version of a good sci-fi story than the crap Berman and Braga have been shovelling out for the past four seasons of Enterprise.

Which brings me back to Seven of Nine. When I watched the first episode of Enterprise which spent five minutes on a greasy rubdown between the chief engineer and the “Seven of Nine-esque” Vulcan science officer, I knew EXACTLY how this whole Enterprise thing was going to end up. Well, that and time-travel-as-plot-device is getting old.

Time Travel and sci-fi used to be cool. Remember those times? It was when Kirk and McCoy went back and let the Nazis win WWII. It was that time when the Enterprise-D discovered Data’s head buried beneath “ancient” San Francisco. Awesome. Then it started getting old. Sisko went back in time to a bunch of riots. Meh. Oh look, DS9 has a tribble episode, how cute! Meh. Don’t even get me started on Voyager.

Speaking of which, why is it that anytime Braga gets his creative mitts on Trek, we end up with some half-witted time travel escapade? Case in point: the 2-hour fangasm called “The Last Episode of Voyager” where Bermen and Braga managed to take bar none the best villain Roddenberry EVER came up with (in Trek anyway) and turning them into limp-wristed panty-waists. And how was it done? Time Travel. Brannon Braga wrote Generations and First Contact. Both have some form of Time Travel. And not more than a passing thought is given to exactly how all this time travel is going on. In First Contact, it was as easy as flipping a switch. Damn, I wish I had that switch. “Break-the-laws-of-physics switch, turn on!” Meh.

So, in summation, here’s what Star Trek needs in order to be worth watching again:

1. New executive producers. Berman and Braga: YOU ARE FIRED!
2. New writers. And hire people who have proven track records at writing sci-fi.
3. NO MORE PREQUELS! Roddenberry himself talked about how he wanted the technology and ideology of Trek to shock people. The NX-1 flying tin can concept just doesn’t work.
4. Sulu. Best. Character. Ever.

And I swear, if I hear anymore of this crap about people donating money to pay for more Enterprise episodes… you darn well better give Joss Whedon a call, first. At least his series was ORIGINAL.