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Review of Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath

When Amit, at damnedmachines.com, declared that he enjoyed Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath more than Halo 2, I was skeptical to say the least. I went ahead and read his review and was intrigued by what was written. I HAD to rent this one.

So I did.
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State of Fear

I recently picked up State of Fear by Michael Crichton, that one guy who wrote Jurassic Park. I’m not very far into it yet, but it’s a pretty informative book. A small introduction reminds us that characters and organizations are used fictitiously, but anything marked with a footnote is real, and the book contains an appendix citing sources for all of the footnotes. I wish all authors would do this.

As a sidenote, I was browsing around on MichaelCrichton.com and noticed an interesting speech he gave establishing that extraterrestrial aliens are responsible for global warming.

Also, in light of today’s articles about “a new study comparing 7 million real world datapoints with several computer models of global warming,” I agree with Crichton’s take on this. I’ll take a computer climate model seriously when it accurately predicts future trends for the next ten years. Twenty would be preferable.

Evercrack and Pizza

Foton at AFK Gamer noticed that Sony has built an… interesting… command into Everquest II.

I’m not even sure what to say about it. It is indeed a sign of the times. I thought it was a fake at first, if it wasn’t actually on Sony’s domain.

Here, check it out yourself.

Surreal.

“Oddworld: Strangers Wrath” better than Halo 2? I’m skeptical…

Amit over at one of my favorite game blogs, has an interesting review of the new Oddworld game.

Better than Halo 2. Heresy, I know. But I couldn’t prevent that thought from slipping into my head about a quarter of the way through Stranger’s Wrath. And by the time the game was over, I couldn’t make it leave my head either.

Ballsy. I have yet to try out the new Oddworld game, but I can’t help at least renting it, now. If and when I get around to playing it, I’ll let you all know whether or not I agree with Amit’s take on it.

Sidenote: damnedmachines.com and I are not allies, per se. We just happen to be using the same default style sheet that comes with Movable Type. Sorry, but I just don’t have time to re-learn CSS and redesign the whole site.

Liberal conniption fits: Budget 2006

The Bush administration released the details of their budget today. Almost simultaneously, several Democrats died from severe trauma brought on by severe head explosion.

The MSM has begun its campaign against the budget. The big problems that the Dems are having seem to fall into these categories:

The President hates kids because education is getting cut.

The President hates poor people because health care for poor people is not included in the budget.

The President hates farmers because he’s cutting farm subsidies.

The President is spending more on defense because bombs are more important than people at home.

The President hates the environment because he’s cutting funds to the EPA.

Let’s take a few moments today to examine the FACTS.
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Uwe Boll: Why? WHY?

I need someone to explain to me one of life’s mysteries. How does this guy keep getting jobs in the movie industry? I averaged the IMDB ratings of the 8 movies that Uwe Boll has both produced and directed.

4.025

That’s somewhere between awful and crappy. I would also like to state that 48 out of 150 people gave Heart of America a 10. These people were probably the same ones that thought Michael Moore’s Bowling for Columbine was 100% factual. I also noticed that all 3 of the user comments gave it more than 8 out of 10… and surprisingly were not from America. Sorry, if you’re going to grade a movie called “Heart of America” about high school kids, you know, that live in America, I’m not going to take your opinion seriously unless you live IN America. This pretty much solidifies my opinion that people in Europe should NOT be trusted to give opinions on movies.

Which I think is why Uwe Boll isn’t working at McDonald’s or Burger King by now. His movies seem to be well-liked by Europeans. Well, fine. You guys can have him back. Please. Take him back!

If you want a good primer on Uwe Boll, I suggest reading this article written by a potential scriptwriter for Alone in the Dark. Then, read this interview that IGN did with Uwe Boll. It is awesomely powerful in its hilarity. And make sure to read them in that order.

My favorite part of the interview:

IGN FILMFORCE: Hey Uwe.

UWE BOLL: I’m driving to Wilshire Boulevard to go to an agency. I wanted to go to the press screening, but Lions Gate said, ‘Press don’t want to talk to the director.’ It was funny. I’ve never heard this before. They said the director always tries to sell [and] press don’t want thisÂ… So I accepted it.

IGNFF: So you were planning to come to the screening last night?

BOLL: (Laughs) I was not allowed to come.

Excuse me for a minute…

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!111

Oh wow! The movie studio actually requested that the director NOT SHOW UP to the press screening of the movie! *SNICKER*

BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh man… comedy gold.

UN releases land mine awareness ad

The UN released an ad campaign to get us to be more aware of the problem of land mines worldwide. I think the original UN commercial is in really really bad taste. Let me give you the version that the UN released.

And an alternate version that appeared on the internet some time later.

I swear, this must’ve been taken straight out of Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

WARNING: These videos do depict a simulated land mine blowing up a teenage girl as she plays soccer. I guess the UN figures such grotesque depictions will make me want to give them a billion dollars or something.

Super Mega Powerful DSL Cat

I was browsing around on verizon.com and happened upon their DSL page. There was something out of place on that page. Namely, this:

The first question that came to mind was, “What does a cat and milk have to do with Verizon’s DSL service?” I just don’t know. If I get Verizon DSL do they give me a cuddly kitten? It looks like they’ll throw in a free bowl of milk, as well. This kitten also appears to be somehow trained to live in or near computer monitors. Perhaps that’s why there’s a bottle of milk on this monitor. The cat may derive comfort from this. I hope this is not the case. If I had Verizon DSL, I’d want to be sure that I could view anything I wanted, not just high-resolution images of milk and other cat-friendly entreés.

It’s just weird to have that cat there, even kind of scary. Is this some sort of strange avatar of the DSL Internet gods? Perhaps this cat represents some sort of household deity as it did to the ancient Egyptians. “If you subscribe to Verizon DSL, we will ensure that prosperity smiles upon you through your very own divine totem.” The cat was also the symbol of the Egyptian goddess, Bastet. Bastet was a daughter of Ra and at times was considered a moon goddess, analogous to Artemis. This would make the cat a symbol of the hunt, or perhaps nighttime. That doesn’t make any sense, either.

Or perhaps it’s something more nefarious… The monitor could be a dimensional portal into a parallel universe. The bottle of milk appearing on the monitor is a clue that Verizon DSL allowed some sort of super-intelligent, internet-using cat to slip through this portal into our world. Since Verizon managed to photograph this event, I can only hope that they have not been completely conquered by this “SuperCat”.

China bans 50 video games

I wish I could live in China. Because if I lived in China, they would ban video games for me, and also restrict access to Google. China is great.

In all seriousness, they decided to ban games that were being pirated, so they’re spinning it like this:

As part of the effort to protect intellectual property rights and create a good environment for Chinese youth, the State General Administration of Press and Publication (SGAPP) together with the anti-porn and illegal publication offices, created a list of 50 illegal electronic games in a nationwide check-up on electronic publication and software markets.

I love it. So, among some of the titles banned are games like Battlefield Vietnam, Vietcong: Fist Alpha, and Conflict Vietnam. China really cares about creating a good environment for its youth. We wouldn’t want the Youth of China to see what went on during the Vietnam War. Especially not from a greedy capitalist pig-dog point of view.

I noticed they’re also banning The Sims 2. Okay, well, China’s not all bad.

Barbara Boxer: Want some cheese with your whine?

This is stupid.

“I gave Dr. Rice many opportunities to address specific issues. Instead, she said I was impugning her integrity,” Mrs. Boxer said.

BECAUSE YOU WERE. This is what she said to Dr. Rice:

“I personally believe — this is my personal view — that your loyalty to the mission you were given, to sell this war, overwhelmed your respect for the truth,”

If you accuse someone of putting honesty and respect for truth behind ANYTHING else, that is what normal people would refer to as “impugning her integrity.”

Does California have a law that allows for the recall of a senator? Between this and being the ONLY senator to vote against certifying the 2004 electoral college returns, I don’t think I can take 6 more years of her shenanigans.