Top of Cool

What I played: Quake 4 and F.E.A.R.

I was sick all weekend, but did pick up F.E.A.R. and Quake 4. Finished them both while I ate soup and consumed massive quantities of orange juice.

The graphics in both were excellent. Quake 4 looks and feels like Doom 3, only with a lot more enemies on the screen at a time, and also, the levels are more opened up than they were in Doom 3. I would equate the levels in Quake 4 to Quake 2.

The A.I. in Quake 4 is horrible. I guess Raven’s idea of A.I. was, “If I am getting shot at. Choose a random direction and jump in that direction.” So, firefights ended up being about how much ordinance you could throw in their general direction. The tactics of Quake 4 consisted of knowing where the enemies were going to spawn from, and then launching grenades/rockets/dark matter in that direction, and then run through and pick up the dropped ammo. I will say that the shotgun in Quake 4 is always fun. Not sure why, but the shotgun is always a FPS fave of mine.

If you were thinking that Quake 4 multiplayer would somehow be new and improved, guess again. It is literally Quake 3 with a few different weapons. And most of the weapons are EXACTLY the same as Quake 3. I played through Quake 4 and rather enjoyed the railgun’s new clip-based paradigm. I also liked that the rocket launcher could fire homing missiles which would travel slower until you released the “homing” button and let them fly free. So, when I switched to multiplayer, none of these cool new weapon enhancements were even in multiplayer. That’s just crap. As far as I’m concerned, the Quake 4 multiplayer should’ve been released as a free weapons mod for Quake 3. At least then there would be bots… because Quake 4 HAS NO BOTS! Pah-the-tic.

Quake 4’s story… sheesh. Basically, it borrowed from every other popular FPS of the past year. It stole Half-Life 2’s vehicle sequences and “train ride”, and it stole Halo 2’s “play as the enemy” gag. And the plot was less than original. Quake 4 is essentially a sequel to Quake 2. Annoyingly, though, they decided to resurrect the end boss from Quake 2. “ZOMG! HE’S NOT DEAD! OH NOES!!!!” Then, they have you spend a good chunk of the story trying to maneuver an EMP to take out the Strogg’s communications net. Well, after that endeavour fails miserably, it is then revealed that it wouldn’t have worked anyway, even if they had a dozen EMP’s. There is a lot of collect this and then return here, but at least the levels were pretty enough that I didn’t mind the back and forth so much.

So, I chalk Quake 4 as another ho-hum FPS that everyone will be playing online a whole bunch, so go buy it anyway because all your friends will be.

On the other hand, compared to Quake 4, The firefights in F.E.A.R. are absolutely dreamy. Otherwise, not much else of value.

Much like Quake 4, I found the story in F.E.A.R. to be… lacking. There were many plot points that either didn’t make sense or were significant, and then non-chalantly waved aside for no apparent reason, other than writer’s fiat. There was a notable creep-out factor in F.E.A.R. but nothing compared to System Shock 2, or Half-Life 2’s Ravenholm.

So, F.E.A.R.’s story did not deliver, but the firefights made up for it in spades. The A.I. wasn’t top-notch, but it was light-years better than Quake 4. If the A.I. in F.E.A.R. was predictable, at least they still moved like real soldiers. Firing from cover, throwing grenades to flush you out, laying down suppressive fire while other soldiers moved in, are all examples of what half-decent A.I. is capable of. And the level design was usually set up in a such a way that the enemy could easily flank you if you weren’t watching your back VERY carefully. F.E.A.R. would be absolutely perfect as a co-op experience. Here’s to hoping someone creates a co-op mod for this game.

Alas, I have not had any oppurtunity whatsoever to try out the multiplayer in F.E.A.R., but looking through the maps and options, I saw nothing that stood out as bringing anything new to the bloated FPS multiplayer landscape.

Ratings:
Quake 4: Middle of Average
F.E.A.R.: Bottom of Cool

Celebrity Deathmatch

I demand, DEMAND, I tell you, a no-holds-barred grudge match between Derek Smart and Jack Thompson.

Who ever wins, hilarity would ensue.

I’m so tired of Jack Thompson

But I’m going to comment on him anyway.

Some of you may or not be aware of the current spat between BatJack and the National Institute on Media and the Family (NIMF). NIMF was also one of the most vocal groups complaining about the Hot Coffee mod.

Well, in response to David Walsh’s (head of NIMF) denouncement of Jack Thompson, he responded (quoted from Gamespot),

“I am a Christian. As far as I know, Dr. Walsh is as well,” Thompson wrote. “There is a very clear passage in the New Testament in which believers are admonished that if they have a problem with someone, to go to that person in private and try and work it out. He didn’t do that. He did not want to do that. What he wanted to do, it seems is ingratiate himself with some of the folks that fund his organization, so that he will continue to be considered ‘a responsible critic’–one who can be counted upon not to go too far with his criticism.”

Mr. Thompson, did the Bible also tell you to call Gabe a pissant?

Penny Arcade also has some interesting commentary posted up today. My favorite part is the part about VG Cats.

UPDATE: Jack Thompson sics Seattle police on Penny Arcade. I guess free speech is overrated.

Super Turbo Ninja Gaiden Black ZZ: Chapter The Third

I’ve gotten past chapter 2, defeated evil horse guy with a relentless hail of arrows.

Now, I’m on the next chapter of Ninja Gaiden, and I feel a bit sheepish for being so… unforgiving. The game has turned out to be great fun, and chapter 3 is excellent. Yes, I’m currently stuck on the giant lard guy, but I’m not tossing the controller across the room anymore.

Serenity Online

You can see the first 9 minutes or so of Serenity. Yes, legally. Universal has made it available, so if you know anyone who is still not sure if they want to see it, give them this unprecedented sneak preview.

http://video.vividas.com/CDN1/3929_Serenity/web/index.html

Microsoft follows the Sony business model…

Of ripping off consumers on accessories.

Here is the Xbox 360 wi-fi adapter, which interestingly enough, plugs into USB. Those of you with PS2’s may recall the crap rip-off fest called the “Sony Broadband Adapter“.

The wi-fi adapter from MS is retailing for $100. The Sony Network Adapter is currently retailing for $40. (I think it debuted at $50.)

The best part about the PS2, is that it uses normal USB ports. Yes, there is a whole list of standard wi-fi ethernet adapters that work flawlessly for the PS2, none of which are sold by Sony. If the Xbox 360 is the same, then expect a similar list to materialize for it. Nice thing about that is, USB wi-fi and ethernet adapters are about $10 on ebay.

So, unless MS includes some kind of bizarre encryption into the wireless adapter (which I doubt, because the Xbox 360 wi-fi adapter is more likely just re-branded MS broadband hardware), I’m going to slap anyone silly that forks out a C-note for this crap.

Wrath of the Dragon God

I just watched (most of) the Sci-Fi Channel’s new Dungeons and Dragons movie, Wrath of the Dragon God. The first movie to carry the Dungeons and Dragons name was barely survivable, even by first powering up like a Super Saiyan, and its only redeeming feature was a cameo by Tom Baker. This movie was a good sight better, though it was still obviously built around the concept of putting a 17th-level adventure on camera. After seeing illustrations in the opening credits lifted directly from the Monster Manual (the Devourer and the Kraken, I believe) and the poor high-level mage fail at an attempt at multiclassing as a cleric without selecting a patron diety (and multiclassing is almost never beneficial for high-level casters), I found that the easy way through this film for a hardcore geek was to get out the books and track all the direct spell names and other references. References to Jubilex, Obad-Hai, the Ghost Tower of Inverness, and the Barrier Peaks put this story somewhere in Oerth (Greyhawk for all those who don’t care for it).

The commercials featured the first TV ads for the D&D game I’ve ever seen, a nice break from the endless barrage from Earthlink and HP. I would rewrite the three rules ad (1. Never split the party 2. Keep the cleric alive 3. Always check for traps) as follows to address some major mistakes I saw characters make as follows:
1. Never summon a MAGMIN in a LIBRARY.
2. Don’t read books in the bath.
3. Don’t send your pigeon familiar to trigger traps.

The writers of this movie at least allowed the heroes to contribute to the victory at the end, unlike the first one which ended in a mess of deus ex machina. I felt that, to redeem themselves from having done something right, they’d at least have to True Resurrect the fallen at the end, and one shot suggested this might be so.
Overall… I’ll go with somewhere between Strictly Average and Top of Average.

All the cards on the table: Xbox360 vs. PS3 vs. Revolution

UPDATE: I’ve tried to get this as up to date as I could since the months following E3. Surprisingly little has changed in the past few months from what was announced at E3.

I’m still absorbing all the E3 coverage of the next-gen consoles. The mind-numbing technologies being implemented in some of these machines is truly amazing. 2.18 Teraflops? Holy crap, Sony. Calm yourselves down. So, let me break down my impressions right now.

If I could buy only one console in the next generation, which would it be?

Here’s all the info I have gleaned so far. I’ll fill in more details as I get them. (factual and rumored)

J Allard: Marketing Personified

This whole hard drive thing, and Microsoft’s attitude about it is really irking me. It was a stupid idea to make the hard drive optional. That’s all there is to it. So, Edge Magazine posted some interview responses and I’d like to take a moment to comment on them.

When asked if it’s possible that developers had been let down by making the hard drive optional, Homey J Allard replied with:

I don’t know who we’ve let down. There isn’t a game on 360 that you can’t play without a hard drive, so I think that’s a good thing for consumers. We’ve made a commitment to broadening the audience, and while I think most of our energy here at X05 is about the hardcore, over time we’re really setting the stage for making this a bigger category for everybody. So from the developer point of view you have the best tools and the commitment of the most well-resourced company in the world going worldwide with this product and saying that we want to grow the audience. So that seems like a win for developers – I’m not sure who’s supposed to be disappointed.

Okay, there’s a TON of marketing weasel speak in here (Homey J Allard’s primary language apparently), so let’s break this down and see if we can make sense of it…
Read the rest of this entry »

The Saga of the Ninja Gaiden Of the 2nd Chapter

I defeated numb chuck guy. I found out that the dodging maneuver is your friend. Now, I’ve progressed to the evil horse guy boss. My favorite part of the game so far is when the evil horse guy spears you through with his giant spear-thing and then he kind of drags you around and you can do nothing except watch your life meter dwindle to nothing. When I say nothing, I mean NOTHING. Forget about hitting the start button so that you can imbibe a life-giving elixir, because you can’t do that here.

If anyone out there thinks this game is fun, and I understand that many do, please enlighten me. Why am I not finding this game fun? Mind you, I will keep playing it. BECAUSE I SWEAR I WILL BEAT THIS GAME NO MATTER WHAT! Just as soon as I can find the time and my wife stops playing it.