Kutaragi Watch: Xbox 360 fails at life

I’ve decided to start a new feature. I call it:

KUTARAGI WATCH

Kutaragi is like the Steve Ballmer of Sony. Therefore, this should be a lot of fun for me. You may or may not have fun watching, but I don’t really care.

I saw this on GameDaily.biz, and Kutaragi explains why the Xbox 360 will fail.

The current Xbox will become antiquated once the new machine comes out this November. When that happens, the Xbox will be killing itself. The only way to avoid that is to support 100 percent compatibility from its [Xbox 360’s] launch date, but Microsoft won’t be able to commit to that. It’s technically difficult.

Well, of course it’s difficult, halfwit. And I’ll expect to see 100% backwards compatibility when the PS3 comes out. Because the PS2 had it, so why not the PS3? Oh wait… That’s right! The PS2 didn’t have 100% backwards compatibility.

Kutaragi also gives away the secret to the PS3’s 100% backwards compatibility.

It will be done through a combination of hardware and software. We can do it with software alone, but it’s important to make it as close to perfect as possible.

Uh… well… gee… that clears things right up. No WONDER the PS3 is so perfect, it uses a combination of hardware AND software. Ingenious.

That’s today’s Kutaragi watch, if you would like to submit something you saw to Kutaragi Watch just send email to kutaragiwatch@topofcool.com.

Jobs rejects Cell Processor

So, according to the NYT (who never make anything up, by the way) Steve Jobs had a meeting with Kutaragi from Sony, in which the Cell processor was flatly rejected as a replacement for the PowerPC chips.

Kutaragi tried to interest Jobs in adopting the Cell microprocessor, which is being developed by IBM for use in the coming PlayStation 3, in exchange for access to certain Sony technologies. Jobs rejected the idea, telling Kutaragi that he was disappointed with the Cell design, which he believed would be even less effective than the Power PC.

Okay, all two people reading this blog probably already know this news, but the point of this post is to predict what’s going to happen now.

I predict that there’s going to be a lot of talk about how this must mean that the Cell processor is crap and Sony sucks, and blah blah blah. Behold the awesome power that can be unleashed by the unexpected cross over of Steve Jobs cultists with non-Sony fanboys. Scary, huh.

Jobs does seem to have a knack for knowing when a product will succeed or fail. I admit I was skeptical about the iPod and whether it was going to be as ubiquitous as Jobs was claiming. Well, he was right. I see the damn things everywhere now. I even have one. (I got it for free, BTW.)

There’s also anecdotal evidence that he appeared at a meeting with Jeff Bezos (of Amazon) and they were shown the infamous It. (Not Pennywise the Clown, but the Segway scooter thing.) Jobs first reaction was, “It sucks.” And sure enough, the Segway certainly has not changed the world. I think I saw one the other day though.

Anyway, If Jobs says the Cell sucks…. Putting aside everything you see in the “Pirates of Silicon Valley” miniseries, the guy knows his designs, and when it comes down to brass tacks, he’s practical.

On the other hand, I’m surprised he’s been using PowerPC chips as long as he has. I believe that if it wasn’t for his built-in religious zealot-like hatred of Wintel, he would’ve made the switch much earlier.

Here’s the most important thing to remember: If Jobs’ rejection of the Cell chip was made out of hatred for IBM, then this news means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Nintendo: I don’t understand them, but I like them.

Alex at damnedmachines.com had some interesting things to say about E3 and marketing tripe.

Contrast [Sony and Microsoft’s E3 crap] to the enrapturing Zelda-in-play footage, or any time you’ve ever seen footage of a game being played, unedited. That’s what a game looks like. I wouldn’t care about the Killzone and Gears trailers even if they weren’t fake (which they were). They weren’t video games being demonstrated, they were movie trailers. This was evident just by watching them—no admissions by the companies that it was rendered or whatever were needed. Everyone complained that Nintendo punted on revealing the Revolution but…so did Sony and Microsoft.

The only thing Nintendo punted on was a bunch of marketing hoo-ha, as one commenter put it. And I’m glad for it. They didn’t give a bunch of charts with wildly impossible claims of performance (I’m looking at YOU, Sony.) Nor did they try and demo their games on alpha-version dev kits (I’m looking at YOU, Microsoft.)

Honestly, I don’t understand the mentality of Nintendo or any of those guys over there. There’s some kind of strange Zen soul-searching going on, but dang it, they aren’t pandering, they aren’t funding idiotic MTV specials. I kind of feel like I need to buy their consoles just because they haven’t ever talked down to me. They’re unabashedly and unapologetically GAME DESIGNERS and want people to have FUN with their games. I wish I felt the same way about Sony or Microsoft…

Two of my favorite things: Meat and Video Games

Imagine yourself kicking back on a summer day sometime in 2006. You got your honey with you, the weather is nice. You decide to grill up a few burgers and brats. Mmmmm… wouldn’t this be the best grill ever?

“PS3Grill truly is the grill to be placed in the center of living rooms in homes around the world.”

Carnival of Gamers II: Return to Carnival of Gamers

The second installment of Carnival of Gamers is up.

Kudos to Mile Zero for the original style of his post, which hearkens back to a simpler time… Oh, if only I had an amber monitor.

The State of PC Gaming

Many people are saying that PC Gaming is slowly dying. Others say it will be around for much longer and become stronger than it is now. I say that it’s WAY to early to tell.

Here’s why.
Read the rest of this entry »

Yay, my domain is back!

Hooray for my new web hosts, The Protagonist!

Interview with LucasArts President Jim Ward

Why, when presented with an oppurtunity to interview someone in the game industry, like Jim Ward, we are not asking questions like, “What are your feelings about the way KoTOR II came to completion? Was it rushed? Why? What should’ve been done differently? Why wasn’t Obsidian given enough time to implement the ending they had planned on?”

I’m sick of interviews with the same stupid questions. “Why is it hard to tell a story in a video game?” Cripes. It’s time for game journalists to get a pair. Maybe if they started holding these people’s feet to the fire, we wouldn’t get games like Episode III, we’d get more KoTOR.

Carnival of Gamers: Aftermath

So, my domain is still MIA. I’m told it will be back soon, though. Despite the fact that NO ONE can read this, right now, I had to link to this awesome blog post.

I participated in the Carnival of Gamers, and Matthew Gallant at CGOnline was rather critical of the whole affair. Josh at Cathode Tan responded.

What I find absolutely entertaining is the flame war that ensues in the comments area of Josh’s blog. Go read these comments. Now. All two of you reading this blog… go do it!

Update: The flame war continues over at damnedmachines.com!

Update II: Oh, and my domain is back. Excellent!

Gamespy is stupid: BitTorrent NOT shut down

Contrary to what Gamespy is reporting, BitTorrent is not shut down. See.

Gamespy’s reporter is writing about the shut down of a single torrent site. The BitTorrent client and technology are very much still active. This writer is just an idiot. Or maybe it’s the editor, who knows over there anymore.

CNN reported today that Federal agents have launched a campaign on users of BitTorrent Software used to steal data files from the internet.

This is also erroneous. The campaign was NOT against bittorrent users. It was against the pirate websites that post torrents to things such as “Episode III” before they’re released.

“Our goal is to shut down as much of this illegal operation as quickly as possible to stem the serious financial damage to the victims of this high-tech piracy — the people who labor to produce these copyrighted materials,” said John Richter, acting assistant attorney general in the Justice Department.

You know what this proves? George Lucas has control of the Justice Department. Here’s how I imagine it going down.

George Lucas: OMFG! Episode III is on teh intarweb? People can see it without paying $10 a ticket? RICK! TO THE SKYWALKER CAVE! We’ve got to call the President!

Rick McCallum: As you command, Master.

George Lucas: President? It’s important that you stem the serious financial damage this is wreaking upon my empir^H^H^H^H^H I mean, my legitimate business. I’M A VICTIM!!!!111oneone

UPDATE: Apparently, Gamespy has now altered the headline to more correctly say, “Bittorrent site shut down” instead of, “Bittorrent shut down.” So, kudos to Gamespy for correcting their HEADLINE to be more correct… now if only they would leave their game reviews alone. Note that they have still not corrected the erroneous content of the article itself.